Bright Lights, Dark Thoughts
by peace-and-war
Summary: Steph, Hayley and Casey are slowly on the road to recovery. However long that takes, none of them know. Sequel to Fight For All The Wrong Reasons.
1. Derailing

**Bright Lights, Dark Thoughts**

**Chapter 1 Derailing- Eva**

**This is the sequel to Fight for All the Wrong Reasons. Some of the chapters will be in one of the four main characters POV, Olivia, Allison Cameron, Eva, and Hayley whom was born in the time between the stories. This is set twelve years into the future. **

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Chapter 1- Derailing (Eva)

You have no clue what it's like. Being the eldest daughter of a doctor and a detective. Some think its great, I mean both my parents are serving the community. Giving something back to society.

Yeah. Bullshit.

I was adopted by Olivia Benson and Allison Cameron when I was almost four. They had only been together maybe a month or two, I don't know all the details.

We then moved permanently to New York, well Allison and I did, Olivia was a native New Yorker, and so went back.

After I turned four, Olivia went into Sealview, a female prison as an undercover cop, to help weed out a guard rapist. The tables turned and she was raped. She doesn't know I know the details, she gave me the basic outline, but well, the file was locked in her desk, and I was bored.

Six months after that, Allison's sister Hayley died. We made the trip back to Princeton to say our respects. I only met Hayley a couple of times. Before that I became really good friends with my cousins, but mostly with Janie and Cody, who are my age.

Three months later, I gained a baby sister, they named her Hayley Serena. Hayley after Allison's sister, and Serena after Olivia's mom. She's now 13, and a pain in my butt. She looks like Olivia in miniature, but has Allison's personality, but has Olivia's need to help people, but I personally think she gets that from both of them.

One of my aunts, Casey, also had a baby girl, and named her Stephanie about two months before Olivia had Hayley. So naturally the two girls are best friends.

When I turned 12, Nicolas, Hayley's widow, he was diagnosed with cancer, I think it was lung cancer. Stage 3 or something. Eavesdropping on conversations with big medical terms is hard, but whacha going to do? Unfortunately a year later he died. Sammy was already at medical school and Lisa was in college, so Olivia and Allison offered to take care of Janie and Cody.

That pretty much brings us up to today. We live in a five bedroom house on the outskirts of Manhattan, its nice and big, and we all got our own rooms. Janie, Cody and I are all in the last year of high school, which is fantastic. We actually made it through.

Hayley is about to enter the 8th grade, and has just turned 13, and she is absolutely ecstatic, for some unknown reason.

Mom [Allison] still works at Mercy, but took a job in the Immunology Department when Janie and Cody came to live with us, which has worked out for the better. Liv still works at SVU but was promoted six months ago to Captain, because Cragen retired, and Elliot didn't want to take the job.

Speaking of Elliot, Kathy and he totally broke up. Eli is now 13, almost 14 and he and Hayley are good friends, and he is also going into the 8th grade.

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'Eva Benson-Cameron, Janie Roberts! Get your butts down here.'

Oh shit. Janie and I were supposed to do the washing today, and so in the last possible minute before Liv and Mom came home, we threw the stuff in the wash.

I found Janie in her room, with her iPod in her ears.

'JANIE!' She pulled the earplugs out of her ears, in an attempt to understand and hear what her cousin was saying.

'What?'

"We are in so much shit..' I gave her a pointed look.

A look of confusion flicked across Janie's face, to be replaced with a dawning look of comprehension.

'The washing.' Janie said.

'Run?' I asked.

'Run.' She nodded.

'EVANGELINE! JANE!' This time it was Mom who was yelling.

'Uh oh, full first names. We'd better go and see what the hell is going on.' I ran downstairs, followed by Janie.

We found Mom and Liv at the kitchen table, and there was something wrapped in paper towel sitting on the table.

'Take a seat guys.'

I looked at Janie, this was so not about the washing.

'Whats up Aunty Al?' Janie asked.

Mom unwrapped the paper towel, it was a pregnancy test. She pushed towards Janie and I.

'Is this either of yours?' She asked.

I looked at it, it was positive.

'It's not mine.' I replied.

'Nuh. It isn't mine either.' Janie answered.

'Are you guys sure?' Liv asked us.

'Uh, yeah.'

I stood up, and turned to leave the room.

'Oh and next time you guys forget to do the washing, just leave it. Cody's soccer shorts are now pink, and you three's school shirts are too.'

I looked at Olivia's face. The look on it was priceless. I knew she was imagining Cody playing soccer in pink shorts.

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**Alrighty. This was the first chapter of my sequel. Reviews make my day, but also the reader counter does too, so either way I'll be happy. Sorry for the short chapter, this was basically to bring up to date the twelve year gap between the end of Fight for All The Wrong Reasons and this story. I have a vague idea where I'm taking the story, and I have all of the summer to develop it. However, additional small plot points are useful, and if I choose the plot point you put in, I can give you a cameo in the story. So how's that for incentive?**

**xx peace-and-war**


	2. Unravelling

**Chapter 2 Unravelling- Olivia**

**Ah. Disclaimer. Knew I was forgetting something. Check my profile. I have a standard one there.**

**Alright. This chapter contains some bad words, one or two, and some mention of rape, yet nothing graphic. I'm keeping it as teen, as I have written waaaay worse stuff and stuck it under a M rating. It may go up, if I keep getting sadistic with the storyline. Anyways. Enjoy!**

**This chapter is mainly Olivia POV, however there is a chunk of Eva's POV, because I wrote it in an alternate chapter, and just couldn't resist putting it in, to lighten up the chapter slightly.**

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'If it's not them, who could it be?' Allison asked me. We found a positive pregnancy test in the trash this morning, but we tackled Eva and Janie when we got home from work. But it didn't belong to either of them.

'It's not me. It's kinda impossible.' I said. Well, it was. Being in a lesbian relationship means no male appendages. So no means of getting pregnant.

'I know it's not you.' Good. She trusts me, as she should. And I trust her.

A thought dawned on me, but I quickly suppressed it.

'What are you thinking?' God, Allison could read me like an open book. Considering we had been together for twelve years.

'I was thinking, that maybe it was Hayley's.' I hated myself for saying that, but in my line of work, you have got have accept every possibility.

'She's thirteen.' Allison stated, with hesitancy in her voice. She didn't believe it was Hayley's, neither did I for that matter.

'And?' Yet, I've worked too many cases. Melanie, one girls name pops into my mind. I still can't forget that case.

'We'll ask her when she gets home.'

'Okay.'

I didn't want to believe that it was Hayley's pregnancy test. As her mother, I wanted her to stay the little girl that I loved so much.

I just wanted her to stay a kid, I didn't want her to have to deal with anything that I went through, and I just wanted her to be happy.

_**12 Years Ago**_

'_C'mon Liv. You can do this!' Allison stood holding my hand in the delivery room. Because all my energy was focused on getting the baby out safely, I didn't bother with a reply._

_I knew everyone was waiting outside, Eva, Elliot, Casey with Stephanie, the rest of the SVU squad, Allison's relatives. That was one point in my life that I felt truly happy._

'_Olivia, one more push.' The OB/GYN told me._

_Sure._

_I heard a scream come out of my mouth, but was instantly silenced by the crying of a baby._

_My baby. The OB/GYN handed __my baby__, our baby to Allison._

'_Liv, she's beautiful.' Allison brought her over to me._

'_Not she, Hayley Serena.'_

_I stood watching Hayley in the nursery sleeping. She was three weeks premature, but was otherwise healthy_

_I watched her, but that not being enough, I went in and stood by her._

_Her hand reached up, and I instinctively put my finger in the hospital crib/bed whatever it was, and watched her grab onto it. I knew then she was going to be a fighter, just like her mommy._

'Hey mommy.' Hayley walked in the door. She was still in her school uniform. She had gone to Stephanie Novak's house, who was her best friend.

'Hey baby.'

'Is that Hayley?' Allison called out.

'Yeah it is.' I called back.

'C'mon baby, we have to go into the kitchen.'

'Why?'

We walked into the kitchen, and Hayley paled visibly at the sight of what was on the table.

I looked at Allison. That was enough validation to know it was Hayley's.

'Hales, whats going on?'

'I'm so sorry mommy.' Hayley burst into tears, clinging on to me for dear life.

'What are you sorry about?' I asked concernedly.

Allison had removed herself from the room, it wasn't that she didn't want to deal with it, it was more to do with the fact that she knew Hayley would open up if there was only one person. And she was clinging to me.

'For hiding it.'

'Hiding what?'

'From what Stephanie's stepfather did.' It was nothing more than a whisper, but Olivia heard it fine. Stephanie's stepfather was married to Casey Novak, and there was also two other girls both younger than Stephanie and Hayley in the house.

'What did Steph's stepfather do?'

'He…he….he…raped me.' I was seriously pissed at Timothy. That rat bastard, we trusted Hayley with him, and this is what he does. I didn't show this to Hayley though.

'Why couldn't you tell us?'

'He threatened to hurt me and Steph more if we told either you, Ally or Casey.'

'Wait, is he hurting Steph as well?'

Hayley nodded.

'Its okay baby. He can't hurt you or Steph anymore.'

_9 Years Ago_

'_Mommy!' Hayley was colouring happily, waiting for Eva to get home. She absolutely adored her elder sister, and loved her to pieces._

'_What sweetie?' I looked up from my file of paperwork, nothing photographic. Hayley jumped up and ran to the kitchen table, holding a piece of butchers paper._

'_Eva like?' She held up a picture. The person with the brown hair was me, the person with the yellow coloured hair was Allison, and Eva was drawn next to Allison, and Hayley next to me. We were standing in front of a house that was lacking a front door and half the garden,_

'_I think she will sweetie.' The smile on Hayley's face was huge. She was proud that Eva would like the picture. Eva would love the picture. She put them on her wall, all next to each other._

'_Love you mommy.' She gave me a kiss on the cheek and went back to drawing._

I just wish she had never lost that innocence.

**Eva POV.**

'Hey Belle!' One of the over excited twins, Isabelle jumped up onto me as soon as I walked in the door, as Hayley was leaving. Beth was still running down the hall. The two four year old identical twin girls shared so many characteristics with their mother and sister. They all had the pale red golden hair, and pale green/blue/grey eyes. However, Steph had their mothers fiery personality, and the twins took after their father. Steph had a different father, long story.

'Eva, thanks so much for doing this. Emergency numbers are on the fridge…'

'Hotdogs are on the stove, the twins need a bath, and Steph needs to be in bed by 10. I know.'

'Have fun girls.' Casey and Timothy (her husband, the twin's father) were going out for dinner, and as usual, I was asked to babysit.

'Hey Beth. What do you want to do?' This was a trick question. She always wants to watch the Little Mermaid whilst eating dinner, then Belle wants to be read _The Aristocats_ after their bath. I knew their routine by heart.

'The Little Mermaid!''

'Alright, dinner is soon then!' I sat them both in front of the TV in the lounge, the doorways had safety pens up, so I had no worries about them escaping. I hadn't seen Steph yet, but she was home, Casey would have said otherwise if she wasn't.

Her door was shut.

Now that was unusual, I walked up the stairs and knocked on her door.

'Just a minute!' It sounded like she was doing something, and got busted so was now trying to hide it.

I pushed open the door, and found her standing in front of the mirror, there were bruises and cuts all over her body.

'Steph… what happened?'

'Nothing, nothing, you didn't see anything!' She sounded scared.

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**Back to Olivia POV**

I knocked at the Meyers front door. I had called Elliot and told him the story. One of our ADA's Nicole Burges had managed to get a warrant for Timothy Meyers arrest.

Casey answered. 'Hey Liv, Elliot.' She looked confused.

'Is Timothy home?'

'Yeah he is in the lounge room.'

'Timothy Meyers you are under arrest for the rape of Hayley Benson, the assault of Stephanie Novak, and child endangerment. You have the right to remain silent, but you better not. Anything you do say can be used against you in a court of law, and I hope it will. Unfortunately as you raped my daughter, you have no right to an attorney, and I hope you rot in hell. Do you understand your rights as they have not been read to you?'

'Crystal.'

'Hey Steph!' Timothy called out as Elliot was leading him out of the house.

'You were a very nice fuck.' Stephanie's eyes went wide and she ran from the kitchen to hide in her room.

He started laughing as he was led to the car.

**Hah! Who saw that twist coming? Anyways. I apologise for my lack of updates.**

**Cookies to anyone who knows which episode Melanie is from. **

**Next chapter will deal with Stephanie and her family.**

**Anyways, I hope the next chapter will be up quicker than this one, but for all circumstances, don't hold your breath. I've got a million and one SACS to study for. **

**Have a good one!**

**xx peace-and-war**


	3. Baby Steps

Authors Note: Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed/alerted. It seriously makes my day guys! So thanks. This is a short chapter sorry, but as I haven't posted anything for quite a while, I got up off my ass and wrote a chapter. Please, don't ask when the next chapter is coming, because I don't know. I've got a heap of SACs (assessment tasks) coming up in the next fortnight, so please be patient.

Love and hugs/cookies to all that have read/are reading this.

xx peace-and-war

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**Chapter 3- Baby Steps (Casey and Stephanie)**

**Casey**

As a former SVU prosecutor, I'd seen the worst of the worst, rape victims who had to rekindle every aspect of their life, and the ones who were viciously murdered, whose families needed justice to move on.

I did not realise that my own daughter would fall into the former category, and because of a man that I loved, that I thought I loved, and… I don't know.

It sickens me, how could Tim do that? To two thirteen year old girls, what if he had done that to my four year old daughters?

I have lost all respect for him, and I hope he rots in hell.

Breakfast was a quiet affair. Isabelle and Elizabeth were at the Benson-Cameron household, and Steph was staring into a bowl of Cheerio's, stirring them occasionally with her spoon, but not eating.

She was released from hospital 24 hours ago, after a 12 hour observation, full body exam, a psychiatrist consult and an official police statement.

It kills me inside to see her like this. I have no clue what the hell she is feeling, whether she is feeling at all. I don't know anymore.

I was told by the doctor that she was inflicting self harm, based on the scars on her stomach and upper thighs, think razor blade cuts, all parallel, all horizontal, all deep enough to cause pain.

The psychiatrist told me that the reason she was inflicting self harm was because, the pain that Timothy caused was unbearable, and cutting made her feel better.

I held her hand though out the exam, and during the pelvic, she was clutching my hand, gripping it like she was afraid I was going to leave, and she buried her head in the pillow, like she was ashamed.

She shouldn't be ashamed, because it wasn't her fault. I just hope that she, and Hayley can get through this, because I don't know what I would do if she doesn't.

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**Stephanie**

_Everybody's got their problems,  
Everybody says the same thing to you,  
It's just a matter of how you solve them,  
And knowing how to change the things you've been through.  
I feel I've come to realise,  
How fast life can be compromised.  
Step back to see what's going,  
I can't believe this happened to you._

By the way that everyone is talking, I should be feeling something, anger, sadness, something. But I don't. I feel numb, like ice has penetrated my skin, freezing my insides.

Is there anything that could make me feel?

I don't know.

Am I going to be okay?

I don't know.

Is Hayley going to be okay?

I don't know.

Will my so-called-stepfather rot in hell?

I sure as hell hope so.

But, then again I don't know.

There is so much that I don't know, that I probably don't _want_ to know.

Still, I would like a choice.

**

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**

**  
Casey**

'Steph?' I saw her sitting, curled up in the couch, mindlessly staring at the television.

'Yeah?' She kept staring at the tv, like I wasn't there.

'Did you want to do something today?' Her gaze shifted from the television, to me.

'I was going back to bed.' She began to get up, her pyjama pants getting caught on the bottoms of her feet, as she made the motions to pull them up, she decided to sit back down.

'You've been doing that for the past two weeks, Steph. I want to go out, and I want you to come with me.'

Stephanie bit her lip, and replied with- 'Fine. I'll go get dressed.'

I smiled at her.

I knew this wasn't going to be easy for her, this was the first time that she'd left the house since Timothy was arraigned, and sent to jail without bail.

Baby steps. She needed baby steps.

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**Song belongs to Sum 41- The Hell Song.**

**Please, read and alert/review.**

**xx.**


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